Worst Film Week – The Worst Film Posters of All Time!

Some films are simply awful. And some posters promoting them are so bad they defy description. Today, in accordance with the prophesy (thanks Chris), we bring you some of the internet’s worst examples of movie promotion. Sexist, racist, pulpy politically incorrect artwork and advertising, these posters are just examples of not what to do when trying to make people watch your film.

I’d say “enjoy”, but that would be false advertising.

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One of the great transplant films of all time (there’s more than one?) at least you’d know what you were walking into, right?

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Younger brother to the Older, Wiser Red Planet. Apparently, Martians get even after they’ve got mad. Heck, that doesn’t even make sense!

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I just love the fact that the title monster will “breed with anything”, creating a delicious sense of the unexpected for hormone-ridden teenage boys at the time. At least it’s realistic…. right?

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Now this is what I call a tacky poster. What, a snake draped suggestively around a half naked woman isn’t tacky? Personally, I think the two tag lines they came up with say it all…..  with the top one being the best ever poster comment.

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Do you think the African-American population would have seen the ludicrous coupling of negro power and the Nazi’s, the sworn enemy of the non-Aryan races? I wonder if director Lee Frost is Jewish? That would have made it even more politically incorrect!

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It’s highly likely that this poster would never see the light of day if it came out tomorrow. I wonder if Fred Williamson ever made another film? And I wonder how many white folks wandered into the cinema playing this turkey?

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Yep, they look like giant cat’s, don’t they? Apparently we’ve never seen anything like it. Thankfully.

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Quite simply, we don’t know, and based on this simple (stupid) poster, we won’t care. Based on this poster, it’s easy to think the movie itself might have been better. It wasn’t. Chris Kattan should never have had a movie career. After this, he still doesn’t.

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Cousin of those pesky Catwomen from the moon, you have to wonder why they’d call a night of terror “magnificent”. Pulpy poster gives nothing away. Awesome.

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Of course, they don’t need the blood of the elderly; after all, it’s hard to make an exciting chase with people on zimmer frames. Apparently, the guy who produced Eaten Alive found more money to make more films. Which is a tragedy in itself.

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Somebody obviously thought that simply putting the title of the film on the poster would be enough. If somebody got paid for this, I applaud their audacity to produce a film poster of this quality.

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It’s hard to come up with anything funny to say about this, when the poster itself provokes waves of laughter from everywhere. Diabolically, stunningly, awful.

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Boasting a cast of 100 women (beauty optional, no doubt) this film reminds me of the bit in Monty Python’s Holy Grail when that Knight finds himself in the castle with hundreds of love starved women…. They also paraphrased Darth Vader by stating that it will be “long remembered”. Climaxing, apparently, in an orgy of lust and revenge, my guess is that there’s more violence than sex in this little opus. Talk about sexually suggestive!

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Why was there ever a Baby Geniuses 1? It would certainly be hard to combat crime dressed only in a set of Huggies, but what can one do when blessed with superpowers in utero?

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Possibly the worst type of poster, for the worst type of Superman film: one in which Richard Pryor takes center stage over the title star. The artwork on this beast is appalling, and it’s little wonder the film tanked. Should never have been a movie poster.

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Quite possibly my favourite of all the posters here today, you can’t argue that you don’t know what your about to see. With a kid looking like he’s stepped out of The Omen, this poster ranks as one of the all-time great shockers. I wonder if the film is any good?

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Strangely, this is filmed in Terrorama, a film technology I was unaware of until just now. After a little bit of internet researching, I found that Terrorama as a film technology came up around the same time as Horrorvision and Stupid-o-rama-vision. Thanks to Emma M for trawling through the interweb to find this masterpiece of crap.

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Now, if you manage to locate any more movie posters that you think are deserving of criticism and bile our readers will dish up, then please add them to the comments box below. Hope you enjoyed this trip down “Worst Posters” lane!

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