Blogathon – LCR’s Re-castathon 2013

Thanks to Jack over at Lights, Camera, Reaction for coming up with this fun Blogathon – pick your favorite (or least favorite) films of 2013 and recast an actor or actress you didn’t think as quite right for the part. To take part, or to read other blogger’s ideas, head to Jacks dedicated page for all the info!

Anyway, here are our suggestions for recasting popular films!

HER – Spike Jonze

Replace Scarlett Johannson with Angelina Jolie

Reason: Well, if you’re gonna have a total babe as the voice of an artificially intelligent computer, surely to God you’d have the Ultimate Babe, Angeline Jolie. While Mrs Pitt might currently be seconded to raising a family and directing films nobody ever sees, I could easily see her spending a day recording all the super-sexy lines and sultry voice work for Spike Jonze’s semi-sci-fi film. Even better if she did it in that fake British accent she uses from time to time. Ooo-er!

Gravity – Alfonso Cuaron

Replace George Clooney with Adam Sandler

Reason: Adam Sandler dying as he floats off into space? Sells itself, really.

Sharknado

Replace the Sharks with Crocodiles. Or spiders. Or giant lizards.

Reason: Crocodiles are more awesome than sharks, even giant, flying, exploding sharks. And spiders are scarier than crocodiles. Because giant lizards. Go on Hollywood, make Crocnado, I dare you!

The Wolf Of Wall Street – Martin Scorsese

Replace Leonardo DiCaprio with Christian Bale

Reason: While I think Leo did a superb job at bringing the unscrupulous Jordan Belfort to life in Scorsese’s masterwork, I’d love to have seen the uber-intense Bale given a chance to go to town in a haze of sex, drugs and money. Seeing Bale discuss throwing dwarves onto velcro bullseye’s would be worth the price of admission alone, and  the sight of him snorting cocaine from a hookers ass would forever remove the thought of him as Batman. Come to think of it, didn’t current Batman, Ben Affleck, play a similar role in Boiler Room? Ah ha!!

The Heat – Paul Feig

Replace Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy with Chris Rock and Chris Tucker

Reason: In a hugely offensive, controversial, and moderately racist movie, I’d love to see a straight-laced Chris Rock going up against the manic insanity of Chris Tucker (although Tucker might have to gain a hundred pounds first) as two mismatched cops tracking down an underworld kingpin (played by Oprah Winfrey in a role designed for Oscar glory). Hell, throw in the dude who played the Principal of Hill Valley High in Back To The Future as the Chief of Police trying to keep them all calm, and you have yourself a winner.

Related articles

• LCR’S Recast-athon.
• Announcing the Life, Love and the Movies blogathon
• The Wolf of Wall Street Review
• The Classic Movie History Project Blogathon: The Silent Era
• LCR’s Recast-Athon – Recasting characters of 2013 Films
• Making the Case for Elizabeth Debicki + Blogathon Entries

Who wrote this?

Rodney Twelftree

“Some people say I like films. Those people are wrong. I *love* films.” – Me. I said this.

Rodney has been writing about films for well over two decades, appreciates a good wine, the love of his wife and kids, and the affection of his dog and cats. He has a fondness of cheesy 90’s action and classic Hollywood, hates that physical media is disappearing, and wishes somebody would make a high-budget series of The Neverending Story.

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